THOUGHTS TO PONDER DURING DIVORCE

1. Every relationship is vulnerable, even the ones that appear perfect.

 “Treat your marriage like it is delicate at all times – because it is,” “Even though things might seem fine on the outside, it’s what you’re feeling inside that matters. Don’t ever make any assumptions about the health of your marriage.”

For a marriage to work, “you need to nurture it, work on it and always pay attention to it,” 

2. Second and third marriages are often harder than first.  Couples in second or third marriages face a higher risk for divorce ― That’s a rocky start for any couple “When you had rocky start like that, it’s easy to idealize your new partner’s good qualities while ignoring any relationship red flags,” she said. “Problems you tried to escape in your first marriage will likely manifest in subsequent relationships if you don’t resolve them.” 

Second and third marriages, tend to be more perilous, experts say.

3. If your marriage ends, try to keep the details private.

 “No one’s divorce is going to garner media attention like Brangelina’s, but there’s still plenty of people who will be sniffing around for information, Create a short statement about your divorce. (’My spouse and I are getting a divorce. I appreciate your concern and hope that you will respect our family’s need for privacy and space at this difficult time’), then stick to it.” 

That way, whenever your noisy neighbor or co-worker pries for details, you’ll have your spiel ready to go and won’t be caught off-guard.

“No one’s divorce is going to garner media attention like Brangelina’s, but there’s still plenty of people who will be sniffing around for information.

Regular folks should do the same, and while they’re at it, try to stay out of court, “Good attorneys will almost certainly try their best to keep this from ever

going to court,” he said. “Good lawyers understand the enormous benefits of settlement, for big or small cases.”

Resolution without a knock-down trial is almost always better for the couple and certainly better for the kids. Seasoned, experienced lawyers can usually work together to agree on an outcome. They know what settlement is OK or within what would likely happen in court.” 

4. Protect your kids from parental conflict.

Regardless of who gets custody, keeping the kids out of the conflict is essential, “You need to have sensitivity and objectivity about the children’s needs,” Tell your children what they need to know about changes in their lives without  bad-mouthing their other parent. Remind them that they are loved regardless of what happens. Don’t rob them of their childhood by sharing adult information with them.” 

5. Your marriage may be over, but you’ll always be co-parents.   Put your  family first ― a sentiment they should stick to if you want to be good co-parents, “Working on communication and compromise doesn’t end just because you take your ring off; it becomes even more important because the foundation of the marital friendship is shattered and the grace you once gave your partner is long gone..